This is my very last post of 2008. I was going to do a retrospective on the year, but I talk about myself enough in this thing.

So, here’s a little erotica to get your fires lit on this wonderful New Years Eve.

I hope that however you’re celebrating, it’s safe, sexy and fun!

Thanks for reading and I’ll catch you in 2009!

-Becca

~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~
She was pushed up against a wall. He held her right leg above his hip and thrust his cock into her cunt at a relentless pace. She was ridiculously wet, as she had been waiting for this for a long time. The smell of sweat and pussy and sex wafted into her nostrils, and her back arched in ecstasy. In response, he pulled her hair to increase her arch and fucked her harder, grunting with his efforts. When it was obvious he could no longer keep up his pace, he slowed and began teasing her with a slow, methodical thrust. He picked her up completely off the floor and wrapped her legs around his waist. She started to grind her hips, in hope of picking the pace back up, but he grabbed her ass and started to control her movement. He slammed her back against the wall and kissed her long, hard and slow. His dick slid in and out of her pussy so slowly she could actually feel it when tissue was no longer being touched. It was absolutely infuriating. He moved his lips to her neck and then gently took her earlobe between his teeth. She started to get breathy and her cunt tingled in appreciation. She was trying not to be too obvious about the incapacitating effect this had on her, but a small moan escaped her lips nonetheless.

Then, something surprising happened.

“I want to do all of it.” He whispered into her ear, shortly before resuming his talented tongue work on her lobe.

“All of it?” She was shocked.

“Every single thing. I know that I’ve never given you reason to believe that I would be interested in any of that. But I am. I’ve fantasized more nights than not about making those fantasies a reality.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The fantasies he was referring to were stories she had begun to send him a year ago. Before this moment, they had only corresponded through letters. They had never met, but had written to one another once a week for the past five and a half years. He was the distraction that helped her get through her PhD program. He had shared with her the stories of his marriage, and she had supported him through his messy divorce. Their letters had started with an air of innocence. She was looking for an outlet for writing that wasn’t massive dissertation work. He had moved to an island and wanted regular contact with a mainlander. Like all relationships, theirs’ began casually, but in the end they recognized that in one another they had found a dear friend.

A year ago, he complained of masturbatory difficulties. After his divorce, he found getting off a chore instead of a pleasure. She had tried to talk him through some action steps in her letters, but each time he reported back, there seemed to be no progress. So she took a risk. For years, she had been writing erotica about her fantasies. She had shared them with few, but since they had never met, she felt safe sending him her work.

The first erotica piece she sent was her first, and most vanilla. It was set in a castle, and little other than fucking occurred. She wrote her regular letter that week, and enclosed the erotica with a post-it that said “Maybe this will help.”

He responded back the next week with his regular letter, but with his own post-it attached. “You have no idea how much.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

She dismounted. “We don’t have time to do all of them. You’re only in town for tonight.”

“I know. This time. My new company has me traveling quite often and I’ll be here once a month. I can’t think of a better way to spend my time than making all of those fantasies a reality with you.” He stood there, his tumescence covered in a condom, glistening with her moisture. And although she was really assessing his proposal, he also caught her staring.

His cock was beautiful. It had a presence. It was girthy, and had a slight upward curve. G-Spot equipped. Perfect.

He removed the condom, and took his perfect cock roughly in his hand and started stroking. Her clit jumped to attention, and all she wanted to do was slap another condom on, have him bend her over her desk, and go for round two.

But, matters needed to be discussed.

As his stroking intensified in pace, she didn’t want to talk. She just wanted to watch him bust all over her floor. She wanted to see the intensity of his orgasm. She wanted to see his face, watch his body movement, hear him release. Mid-stroke, he stopped and they made eye contact.

“I’m not coming until after you come.” He said as he let go of his dick, which at this point was so rigid, it continued to stand at attention without the assistance of his hand.

She was very distracted, and wanted to start discussing his proposal, but seemed to be lost in her own arousal.

So instead, she walked over to him and took his cock in her hand, and kissed him. “Okay, but after that, we discuss.”

She knelt down on the (luckily for her) carpeted floor and kissed the head of his penis. Normally it was uncut, but in this state of rigidity you couldn’t even tell, minus his reaction. She looked up at him, “Is this okay?”

“Yes, but I’m going to stop you. You know that.”

She knew it. But she wanted him in her mouth. She relished sucking cock. Not because the actual act was comfortable or easy, but because it was a skill. A skill that she worked hard to maintain, upkeep, and perfect. She started just with his head. She swirled her tongue around the tip of his head and used light suction. Stringy pre-cum began to form, and she wiped it off with the tip of her finger, looked up at him, and put it in her mouth. She held the base of his shaft in her hand, and continued to work his head. His hips started to buck, begging her to take more of him inside her mouth, but this was her show. She pushed his hips back, and ran her tongue along the underside of his dick, balls to tip. He lost his balance a bit after that one, and she decided to take it home.

Slowly, she took as much of his cock into her mouth as she could fit, and sucked slowly as it came out. His moan, like hers earlier, was soft and escaped despite his wishes. She was driving him crazy, and he knew that any more of this would result in cumming before she did. And he was not one to break his promises.

“Stop. It’s incredible. We’ll have to save that for another time.” He said as he brought his mouth to hers. “Can I make you come?”

“You can try.” She mused. She knew that he knew she had an industrial strength vibe that was responsible for all of her orgasms.

“Where is it?’

“I think you know where it is.”

He did know where it was. On his way to retrieve it, he pushed her on the bed, and went to work on her nipples. And she knew he had done his reading. He rolled both nipples in between his fingers, and pulled on them in regular intervals. Both nipples received equal treatment. She had written a few times that she was not a fan of asymmetry.

“Go get a condom. I want you inside me when I come.”

He unbuttoned the yellow box on her nightstand and pulled out a condom, grabbed some lube and also remembered to snatch her vibe on his way.

“Would you do the honors?” He asked.

She took the condom, and with her expertise pinched the tip, and rolled it onto his exceedingly rigid dick. She threw some lube on there for good measure. He stood and pulled her forcefully toward the edge of the bed so he could fuck her with the greatest amount of power behind his thrust.

But it would be slow at first. Payback for the blow job incident earlier. He teased her opening with the head of his cock, and slowly entered her. His first few strokes were slow, but even he couldn’t resist quickening the pace. He grabbed the vibrator and put it on her clit.

And her world turned to vibrant color.

And so did his.

As the sensation of the vibration coursed through her body, it also coursed through his. They rocked together frantically, his hands on her hips, his thrusts deep and penetrating.

“I’m gonna come.”

“Me too.”

She came first, just like he promised. The orgasm radiated through her body. Her PC muscles clamped down around his cock, and as he thrust, her G-Spot exploded in sensations of pleasure. Her orgasm came in two waves, at first threatening to dissipate, and then coming back with force and vengeance. Glorious.

As she began to come down, she looked up at him, giving him permission. He thrust into her, burying his cock as deep as it could possibly go, grunting and panting with the effort. He planted a single kiss on her forehead.

He pulled out, holding onto the bottom ring of the condom, cleaned his cock off, and came to rest behind her. The warmth of their bodies mingled and he placed on hand on her left breast.

She knew that sleep was not far off, so she decided to talk quickly.

“So, once a month?”

“Uh-huh.”

“We can fuck other people right?”

“Of course.”

“Then the only question we have left to answer, is which one is next?”

I’ve had many folks ask me when I was going to write about how I felt regarding the passage of Proposition 8 in California.

I had planned to rant about how marriage is an antiquated institution that needs to be abolished from the books of law and given back to the church.

While I still feel that way, I would rather share this video with you, as it expresses some of my sentiment and much more.

Props to Keith Olbermann for using his privilege to stand up for the rights of a group of people to whom he isn’t even directly accountable.

For the text of the video, you can click here.

This fight is far from over.

-Becca

So, there are a lot of voter guides out there. This is not a voting guide, well unless you’re looking for the official “How Becca Brewers Should Vote on Election Day” guide. But in this most auspicious election time, I thought that I could potentially inspire people to do their own research and make sure that they are informed voters come election day. (Which is in two days dude, so get on that!)

I am not endorsing in one way or the other.

Because at the end of the day, You Can Vote However You Like.

I have titled each proposition to fit my memory, put a little blurb on what the prop is about, and sometimes even put why I’m voting for it.

President/Vice President: Obama/Biden

There are many reasons why I’m voting for Senator Obama, not the least of which is the fear that sinks deep into the core of my being when I think of Senator McCain kickin’ it (i.e. dying, not chillin’) two days after inauguration and having Governor Palin as president. I just puked in my mouth a little bit thinking about that.

Prop 1a - High Speed Rail – YES

This is the prop where they’ve researched and are going to construct a bullet train system from SF to LA. The point of doing so will cut down on traffic, decrease greenhouse emissions and shorten commute time to LA (versus driving). Sounds good to me.

The opposition to this called the plan a ‘boondoggle’ and lost my interest there. (A boondoggle, if you’re curious is something that is a waste of time and money [or a braided chord that Boy Scouts wear around their necks]).

Prop 2 - Freedom for Veal Calves, Egg-Laying Hens and Pregnant Pigs (that’s right, pregnant Pigs) - YES

But, what this prop says is that by 2015, animals being raised for food need to be given pens where they have at least enough space to turn around, and failure to do so will result in fines. Through this process, animal cruelty will stop AND the quality of health among the animals will decrease.

The opposition to this proposition uses a lot of scary words and CAPITAL letters, but says nothing to me that actually sounds credible. So I’m going to vote yes.

So on a completely unrelated note, when I typed up that ‘title’ for prop two, I couldn’t help thinking that this is about youth and women’s rights … but for animals.

Prop 3 - Children’s Hospitals - YES

This prop allows the state to sell bonds in order to give more money to Children’s Hospitals doing work with seriously or terminally ill children, many of whom are from underprivileged backgrounds. No brainer for me, this one’s a yes.

The opposition mentions that the people who put this legislation into play are the very people who stand to benefit from it. Um, duh? Isn’t that how things work? They also said that any hospital that serves children, not just children’s hospitals can apply for the funding. And again … I don’t see why this is a bad thing. Hospitals are good, in general, right? So we want more money for our hospitals, right?

Prop 73 … Prop 85 … Prop 4 – Parental Notification for Minor Abortion – NO NO NO

Seriously? Again? This prop would make it so that when a Minor goes to access an abortion, they must wait until 48 hours after a parent has been notified in order to go through with it. If the minor lives in a situation where notifying a parent would be a dangerous situation, they can report child abuse and then notify another close family member instead. The idea being that notifying a parent will foster family communication.

I could write a whole blog post on how much this is bullshit, BUT, I will try to be concise in my rant about why I am voting no. First, you cannot force family communication, it just doesn’t work that way. Second, there will be a whole shit load of bogus abuse charges, which will cause an increase in time and money spent dealing with the bogus reports. Third, young women will be afraid to access services legitimately, will access unsafe abortions, and just like the last time abortions were illegal, abortion related deaths will rise. Fourth, the cost to taxpayers because of all of the young women who will decide to raise their babies will skyrocket. The teen baby industry already costs taxpayers something ridiculous like $9 billion dollars a year, and that will only increase as more teens keep and then are dependant upon government programs for survival.

Fifth, keep your laws off my student’s’ uteruses!

I will not even dignify the opposition with a summary of their arguments.

Prop 5 – Rehabiliation and Treatment for Prisoners – YES

This one calls for more money for treatment and rehabilitation of those convicted of nonviolent crime. I’m all for proactive approaches, and this, based on what I read is an attempt to be somewhat proactive. It’s obviously not trying to stop people from becoming criminals, but is attempting to create programs where non-violent criminals are given the tools to become beneficial members of society.

Prop 6 – Prison Expansion, Etc. – NO

This one is a whole bunch of money for expanding the prison system, and gang response systems. The money would apparently not be well policed (pun intended), and honestly this money could be spent preventing peeps from ever entering prison. So I’ma vote no.

Prop 7 – Renewable Energy – NO

This one was a crazy tough decision to make. This is prop that calls for 50% of renewable energy by 2025. On first glance, I was like, okay, I’m down for that, it sounds good. But this is apparently one of those propositions that promises something but it actually written in a way that may not deliver. Plus, not that it should matter, but every organization and their momma seems to be against it. So I’m going to follow the progressive crowd on this one and go with No.

Prop 8 – Eliminating Rights for Same-Sex Marriage – NO

Someone on facebook had a photo of someone with a sign that said “I didn’t vote on your marriage” and I was like, ‘Exactly.” This is another prop that I could rant about for a while.

Basically, I am anti-marriage in general. No no no silly, I’m not anti two people falling in love and making/adopting babies and dedicating their lives to one another. I might not want to do that myself, but I’m not against others doing it. But, I don’t think Marriage should even be recognized by the government. Give that shit back to churches, expand the rights of domestic partnership to be the same as marriage, and then we no longer have an issue. Some churches can continue in their antiquated bigotry and deny rights to same-sex couples to marry, some churches can grant those very same rights, and the government can grant rights to everyone without having to worry about this, in essence, linguistic argument.

But, since I doubt that change will happen in my lifetime, I cannot justify eliminating rights. So I’m voting no.

Prop 9 - Victim’s Rights – NO

This prop calls for expanded victim’s rights in the legal processing of the perpetrator. Apparently something that grants victim rights was already passed which covers a great deal of what this proposition is trying to pass. Additionally this one will cause more overcrowding in prisons. Don’t get me wrong, I just heard a gut wrenching story about a rape survivor who came across her rapist on the bus, and she wasn’t even notified that he was out, so I get why this is on the ballot, but it’s another poorly written, causing more problems kind of proposition.

Prop 10 – Alternative Fuel Vehicles – NO

This one is asking for money to encourage people to buy alternatively fueled vehicles by offering rebates. Looks good at first, and then I read the argument against this one, and it’s another one that takes money away from social services, promises something it might not deliver, and also benefits big business more than it does the tax payer. The majority of the rebate funding is for heavy duty vehicles, meaning that people with fleets will be the people who benefit, whether or not their alternative fuel vehicles are better for the environment. So, I’m voting NO on this buzzword prop.

Prop 11 – Redistricting Committee – NO

This one is pushing to have a 14 member committee do all the redistricting after the census. This 14 member committee is pared down from a pool of 60 voters, needs to have 5 democrats, 5 republicans, and 4 of neither party. Basically this sounds shady. Some bureaucrats choose some folks to do this, these folks aren’t elected so they have no accountability to the needs/wants of voters, and then they choose the districts. Doesn’t sound too democratic to me, considering the voters are cut out the equation. Nope, not buying it, and not voting for it.

Prop 12 – Fucking Finally Prop – Vet Assistance – Yes

This is the proposition that provides loans to veterans to assist with home and farm purchases. Well, this one is pretty straightforward. We send our nations’ young people into unjust wars, change them irreparably, and then provide them with loans so that they can try to rebuild a life here. All sardonicism aside, this is a good one. We provide war vets with loans, and they pay them back. Doesn’t really affect me, so I will support this.

***Update****

First of all, thanks to all of you who have shown me such a tremendous amount of support. I know that what I’m doing is important, and I know that where I’m going is a hard, but important road. And I also know that the support of friends, loved ones and even sometimes random strangers will form the solid basis upon which I will find success at the end of that road. I am of the personal opinion that you can never hear too much encouragement, so please don’t ever stop letting me know that what I’m doing is valuable – sometimes I just need that reminder to reinvigorate me.

I would also like to say that my job is secure. Although I didn’t think it possible, it’s even more secure than before the incident. The Health Center’s administration has my back, the school district has my back, and basically the more we find out about this particular teacher, the more we realize that his reaction has nothing to do with a teacher critiquing a curriculum, but more to do with a person reacting to their situation with the best tools they have available – which unfortunately for this guy is fear, anger, backpedaling, and bullying. The latest update is that he is now refusing to teach sex ed to his students at all. I have a lot of emotions about this, but my greatest emotion is sadness. Sad that the world we live in has created someone who would deny basic knowledge to students because they are so deeply uncomfortable with a topic that they can’t overcome their biases to contribute to the greater good.

And my emotions, his emotions, the school district’s emotions and my organization’s emotions aside, the losers in all of this are the students. We are in negotiations to see if we can still educate them, but nothing is set yet.

But I have hope. Mad hope. I made the announcements to my after-school students today about the situation, as it affects them directly. These students expressed anger, shock, rage, but one student’s comments gave me hope.

He asked [and this is not verbatim], “Well, I get that [this teacher] is not going to teach his students Sex Ed. But can we still teach them? Can we pull them out of class and bring them to the multipurpose room and still teach them without him there?”

Youth amaze and inspire me, and I will fight for them. For the student who wants to continue in the face of adversity. For the students denied access to knowledge because of teacher bias. For all my students who had my back and shared my anger. For any student, at any time, who has been denied basic knowledge because an adult was done the same disservice of being denied knowledge when they asked. It’s on.

My ultimate hope is that my struggle will some day be taken for granted. That someday sex ed is a class that some students roll their eyes about taking because it’s something that’s just like science or math. Something they have to take to graduate.

Something that has weight and that matters.

Someday.

**********

So, as many of you know, I am a Sex Educator for a school district in the Bay Area. I have been doing this job for almost 3 years, and today my bubble about the amazingness of my job was just viciously popped.

Here’s the back story.

Yesterday, the group of students I train went into freshman high school classrooms and taught about how to use condoms.

They do a demo and then they actually have all of the students utilize Styrofoam penis models to try it out themselves.

Two T.A.s, a campus security guard and one teacher all decided (after 2 years of us doing this) that the activity was inappropriate.

They noted that students in the class were uncomfortable, and that my students were ‘encouraging’ sexual activity.

Today:

Said teacher lectures me for 20 minutes about how it was inappropriate and how they’ve been teaching sex ed for 24 years (although then the teacher hits me with a ‘sex kills’ lug, and I’m like … oh hell no … your 24 year old sex ed method is obviously not up with the current methodologies …)

AND this teacher also informs me that the principle of the school was contacted, the superintendent was contacted, and now I’m required to tell this teacher what we’re covering before we cover it.

I am angry and riled and I can’t vent ANY of this frustration directly to the administration because they just don’t get it.

My goal in that section is to teach how to use condoms correctly.

According to advocates for youth, which is a huge youth advocacy program (duh), peers disseminate information in a way that is more accessible to the youth that they are teaching than adults. Which means that the youth being taught … hey-o … learn more. Advocates for youth also tells us that when peers teach peers, behaviors and attitudes improve moreso than when adults teach youth.

I want kids to use condoms, so I have peers teach about it, because I feel that the students learning from the students I train will retain more of what they learned AND will be more likely to incorporate what they’ve learned into their lives.

And THEN there’s the whole learning retention thing.

I don’t know how many of you have seen the ‘pyramid of retention’ or whatever, but based on what I’m assuming are studies of retention rates after different pedagogical methodologies are utilized, the way that my peers teach about condoms is the most effective way we could POSSIBLY do so based on learning retention rates.

Here’s the breakdown:

If I were to talk to a class of 30 about proper condom use – just talk to them – 5% would actually retain that information. That’s only 1 – 2 kids. Which means that 28 – 29 DON’T remember. Which means that when it comes time to use that knowledge, 28-29 kids are going to be in trouble.

Well, what if we just do a demonstration? If we actually show them, 30% of them retain the knowledge. Which is 9 kids. Getting better, but 21 kids still don’t learn anything.

Okay, so what if we let them practice by doing? Can’t be that much more, right? Wrong. Practicing by doing bumps the retention rate up to anywhere from 75% to 90%. Which means that anywhere from 22 – 27 kids are going to be able to put a condom on when that moment approaches. Only 3 – 8 will not (and they were probably sleeping or fucking around anyway).

If you expand that to the 1200 kids our program per year

If we just lecture: 60 out of 1200 students know how to use a condom correctly.
If we just demonstrate: 360 out of 1200 student know how to use a condom correctly.
If we allow them to practice by doing: 900 – 1080 out of 1200 students know how to put a condom on correctly.

To me, this is just simple math.

My job is to prevent teen pregnancy.

Whether or not my students may have sounded encouraging, and even if every student in those classrooms went out and fucked the first person they saw, at least 75 – 90% of them would be able to protect themselves properly.

But alas, we live in a world where most adults who are at the administrative level have grown up in an environment that is toxic when it comes to communicating openly and honestly about sex.

These attitudes, opinions, and comfort levels pervade what they think is appropriate, standing in the way of, what I feel, is necessary to truly protect our youth from pregnancy and STI.

And let’s be honest, if I were applying for a job to be a football coach, and I said that my pedagogical method would only involve demonstrating the correct way to toss a football, I would be laughed out of that interview.

Because OBVIOUSLY the only way to really learn how to throw a football, is to practice by doing – and throw the football. No one would argue that my pedagogical method is making people uncomfortable and so shouldn’t be done.

But, because I teach SEX … which is something that SO many people are uncomfortable with even before I get into a classroom … all of a sudden we have a national fucking emergency, and everything that I’m doing needs to stop.

But we are CONSISTENTLY failing our students day after day after day. They don’t want to talk to their parents … their parents don’t want to talk to them. But we, as a culture, for some fucked up reason, believe that magically through all of this NOT communicating, and NOT teaching that everyone is going to make the right decisions about sex and everyone is going to have the skills that they need to use condoms or birth control or whatever.

And I’M the bad guy. Because I’m the only one who wants to recognize that teenagers are fucking and have been fucking at this age for CENTURIES, regardless of the implication of the contemporary social categories that we put around youth. Even though in age they may be ‘kids’ to us, in biology and in their own minds they are not kids. They are agents capable of making decisions for their own lives, and if we took 5 minutes to recognize how they were feeling, they might actually even start making good decisions for themselves.

Not all of them, by any means, but when told to step up, I have seem some “kids” step up in very adult ways. More adult than some actual adults.

My job CANNOT be about helping teens to delay the initiation of sex. That is a lifelong process that should already have been started. When I get in there, I’m there to prevent pregnancy and that is it.

If parents or guardians have not already instilled a sense in their child that they should not be having sex, in two weeks, I have NO ability to change that. I CAN change how much knowledge they have surrounding how to keep themselves safe, but by no means can I change their values.

I am PISSED to the max, but at the same time I am motivated.

I realize that I can’t fight this battle here on the ground. It’s time to step my shit up, apply to grad school, get those letters behind my name so that I can fight the good fight from the skies.

I’ve been scared of moving on, I’ve been scared of leaving a place where there are people who I consider family, a place where I’ve had the flexibility to really live and grow as a person.

But I can’t work at a place where I can’t effect change over it simply because of my age, or status, or educational level.

I have the privilege to move up in this world, and instead of hiding behind my fear of striking out and possibly failing, I’m motivated, now more than ever, to get out of here, and begin the long, stressful, amazing, crazy journey that will be my life.

And I might fail. And that’s okay. Because I would rather fail after fighting, than fail simply by doing nothing at all.

-Becca

On July 28th, as many of you may remember, I wrote a very ambitious post about changing my life around. It has been 60 days, and I want to share with you how I did.

I will share with you what I feel my level of success was with each point, whether or not I’ll continue it, and then any commentary on how I got to where I did with each point.

1) No penis/vagina or oral sex without an STI test first (everything outside of that is A-Ok).
Level of Success: Circumstantially Perfect
Will I Continue: Yes, so I can eventually try it to it’s fullest.
My Steps to Success: So yes, on this front I was perfect. I was *hoping* that by the end of this I could say that it’s because I was responsible and established boundaries and demanded testing. The reality is, there were no opportunities for sex (I have to admit I wasn’t really actively pressing the matter), so this one was easy because I never even had to have that conversation.

2) I am taking a Hitachi holiday to see if I can retrain myself to not be vibro dependent.
Level Of Success: Most pleasurable failure.
Will I Continue: Hells to the NO.
Why It Didn’t Work Out: What has two thumbs and loves orgasms? This woman. Yeah … I broke this one two days after starting the quest and kept breaking it over and over and over again. Mmmmm. The reality is, if I do ever find myself in a situation where I don’t have electricity or access to vibration for a long period of time, I will relearn at that juncture. For now, it’s all good, and I will continue to have rich, amazing, mind-blowing, body-rocking, multiple orgasms from my Hitachi.

3) I will go to swim practice every Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 7a without fail (with the exception of work commitments. If a M,W,F practice is missed due to a work commitment, I will make it up on Saturday [Or Sunday if there is Cal Football]).
Level of Success: Through there were some bumps, this one is a go!
Will I Continue: Absolutely!
My Steps To Success: I think this one worked for many different reasons, but I’ll list a few here. One was really assessing what kind of exercise I was committed to. I don’t like running on an elliptical for hours. It’s boring. But lead exercise is something that always works for me because it gives me specific tasks to complete and I can focus on those. Hence, the swim team model, where a coach tells me what to swim, was a good call. Choosing an exercise program that didn’t fuck with my knees was also a good call, as I start to fall off the wagon when knee troubles crop up. Additionally, being very realistic about when exercise was most likely to happen also led me to a point where I can claim success. I have found, time and again, that if the first thing I do when I wake up is exercise, I am 10 times more likely to do it than if it happens at the end of my day (when I’m tired andjust want to go home most nights).

Due to this realistic assessment of my commitment, I missed only 4 swim practices over the course of the 60 days.

4) I will weight train every Tuesday and Thursday at 6a.
Level of Success: For the most part, success!
Will I Continue: Yes, but modified.
My Steps To Success: This one worked for similar reasons as the swim team thang. However, as this one was an hour earlier every morning, it made it slightly more difficult. You can read more about why in Step 6 below, but I will be changing the Thursday workout to Saturday.

Over the 60 day period, I missed four 6am workouts, but did make-up those missed morning workouts twice by working out later in the day.

5) I will go to sleep in between 10p and 11p Sunday – Thursday.
Level of Success: Moderate
Will I Continue: No
The Reason For The Midrange: So, it was just too difficult sometimes to really set a bedtime. Sometimes I had business to take care of that brought me past the 11p hour. Sometimes I just wanted to be social and chill. As I feel that taking care of shit that needs to get done AND being social contribute to my holistic health, setting a bedtime only really served to making me feel guilty about those other choices. Most nights, when there was nothing going on, I definitely stayed with those bedtimes because I was usually ready for sleep at that point anyway. So I won’t be officially continuing, but will try to sleep when my body says that it’s time.

6) I will not exercise two days of the week to give my body the chance to rest.
Level of Success: Perfect!
Will I Continue: Yes.
Steps to Success: Well, resting two days isn’t that hard. And admittedly, some weeks it was more rest than others. How I do think I’ll modify this, however, is by changing my workout schedule around a bit. I have been working out M-F and resting on the weekends, but I’ve noticed that by Thursday, my body needs a rest. So I think my two days of rest will switch to Thursday and Sunday, making for workouts MTW and FS.

7) I will brush AND floss twice a day.
Level of Success: Started strong and ended in a fizzle.
Will I Continue: Yes, but modified.
Why it fizzled: Well, I noticed that it mostly fizzled because of my level of success on rule 10. Oral hygiene, however is very important to me, so I will continue to brush twice a day, and floss once. I think I’ll be more likely to make that happen.

8 ) I will cook dinner on those nights I get home early enough to do so.
Level of Success: Pretty good,
Will I Continue: Yes.
How I Got To Pretty Good: I believe I can thank Trader Joe’s, a hearty appetite from regular exercise, and a sometimes non-discriminating pallet for my success. Most of my meals revolved around picking up fresh foods that I like at Trader Joe’s, and combining them in a skillet. Most times that worked out pretty well for me, so I can’t complain. I do think that I will try to make ‘actual’ recipes a little bit more this next time around.

9) I will be a pescatarian (except for Debbie’s chicken wings).
Level of Success: With the exception of one little smokie, perfect!
Will I Continue: Yes
Steps to My Success: Okay, to my credit, it was a little-smokie-in-a-blanket, and I had consumed three High Life’s on an empty stomach. But otherwise, this foray into more structured eating has been a relatively smooth transition, considered I spent 7 years not eating red meat earlier in my life. I am experiencing the wonderful world of seafood and soy ‘meats’ more often now, and it’s made for some great cooking adventures.

10) Drinking and smoking will only happen socially and only on Fridays, Saturdays or under HIGHLY special circumstances.
Level of Success: High for the drinking, low for the smoking.
Will I Continue: Yes
How things rolled out: So, I’m not a big drinker in the first place, which made it much easier not to engage. Although the social factor of the smoking thing did work out, the days which it happened remained just as varied. I did have a week in September when I was completely smoke free and it put some things into perspective for me. The biggest thing that I’ve found out is that I can abstain when something is at stake, but if there is something available to smoke and I don’t feel like there’s anything that it will interfere with, I’m going to smoke. Right now, I guess I’m only contemplative, but am pretty sure that I will eventually move into action phase surrounding this one.

11) When drinking, I will limit myself to only 3 drinks.
Level of Success: Great!
Will I Continue: Yes.
Steps To Success: Like I said, I’m not too big a drinker these days anyway, so limiting myself to three usually isn’t a huge deal. I did break this one on the night of my roommate’s B-day, but felt pretty okay about that. 3 drinks is usually enough for a happy buzz anyway, and I like the lack of feeling like shit the next day.

12) I will only eat out once a week at work.
Level of Success: Perfect
Will I Continue: Yes
Steps to Success: I actually think that the new structure of my life contributed most to the success of this one. Because I was cooking, I often had leftovers to bring to work the next day. And, because I was shopping, even if there weren’t any leftovers, I had lots of supplies with which to create a lunch. This one has saved me a lot of money and makes me feel better about what I’m putting in my body on a daily basis.

13) I will read at least one chapter of the current book I’m reading every day.
Level of Success: Pretty much a failure.
Will I Continue: No
Why I Failed: I guess when there is nothing at stake, I can’t force myself to read. And I don’t think I want to force myself to read. I’m just a binge reader I guess. I get in phases where it’s all I want to do, and I think that I don’t need to fight against that. And even though I didn’t read every night, I still read four books in the time period. While that’s perhaps not as many as I would have liked, it’s still a respectable number considering my time limitations.

14) I will not go on craigslist to look at the personals (for entertainment purposes or otherwise).
Level of Success: Perfect!
Will I Continue: Probably.
Why It Worked: I just think that I’m done with CL men. I did think about doing this one every now and again, but I always felt like I wasn’t down for the types of interactions I feel I usually have when utilizing CL. While I can’t say that I’ll stay off the CL juice forever, I do feel like it’ll be a long while before I use it again.

15) I will wake up when my alarm goes off.
Level of Success: Started strong and then fizzled.
Will I Continue: I’d like to.
Why It Fizzled: I believe that this one is linked to my low/moderate success with numbers 5 and 10. If I went to sleep later, it was harder to get up the next morning. If I smoked before bed, it made it harder to wake up the next morning. While I CAN say that I only had that two hour snoozing moment once, there were a number of mornings where the snooze button was hit twice or three times.

How I feel at the end:

I feel amazing. With the exception of number 10, I feel even with failures and successes, I am a healthier person than I was 60 days ago. I feel more energetic, more at home in body, and have a sense of pride in my accomplishments. I’ve found that cooking is a great adventure and I want to do more of it. I’ve discovered that salad’s increase the motility of my poop, and I am a big fan of that.

So, what’s next? Aside from the goals I will continue, here are my goals for the next 60 days:

1) Eat salad everyday!
I love big, clean, fast poops. One push, everything’s out, and you’re not wiping for hours. I’ve noticed that eating salad directly contributes to this cause, so I will try to eat some sort of leafy green dish every day.
2) Eliminate Soda From My Life.
I have this bad habit of drinking soda when it’s free. I want to actually never drink it again, if possible, so I’m going to really focus on not consuming it.
3) No More Fast Food
I don’t eat fast food often, but I’d like to completely eliminate it from my diet. I have to really think about where the ‘fast food’ line is, but definitely none of the stereotypical chains.
4) Keeping My Living and Working Spaces Clean
I find that when things get busy, I allow my spaces to get trashed. Life is so much nicer when things don’t get that way. So I’d like to make a concerted effort to keep my spaces clean on a regular basis so that I don’t have to continue to spend 11 hour days cleaning after a month of not doing so.
5) Blog at least twice a month.
I just feel like I should. I will even blog more if I can.

Those are it for now!

Hope you enjoyed the update, and I hope that you’re creating and maintaining abstinence quests of your own!

-Becca

PS. That guide to posting on CL that I promised is in the production phases and hopefully will be posted before the end of September!